NBC promotes division and denigration of Black Love
Last week, NBC Nightly News did a 5-part series on Black Women in America. The first installment was broadcast last Monday night and focused on the career gains of Black Women. I learned about it at one of the most provocative blogs on the net. I must say that the initial notification at that blog gave the series much more hype than the actual finished product warranted. I’m sure that the sister at NBC that produced it pushed hard for the network to buy the idea, but they still played it during the last few minutes of the program and it really came off like it was an afterthought. (at least the first night anyway)
I was disturbed, however, by the aspect of the series that focused on interracial dating/marriages. This feature talked about how more and more Black women are choosing White men as mates for various reasons. Some of the featured women talked about the so-called “shortage” of quality Black men in this country. Other women on the video talked about how as they aged they began to wonder if they’ll ever be married and so they broadened their horizons. One woman talked about how she was married to a Black man and after their divorce she began dating White men in search of ”new perspectives” as she put it. Here are the two clips from the NBC special on interracial dating/marriage.
Love, in black and white
Girl talk
I find these types of portrayals extremely problematic for various reasons. While, I don’t discredit the challenges that some Black women face in this regard, I am extremely suspicious of mainstream media and its intent in telling this story. In a media industry that has made a sport of demonizing Black men, people of African descent in America should ask the question: “why would Euro-centered media outlets broadcast this story? How does white supremacy benefit from this presentation?” Keep in mind, this is the same corporate-sponsored media that deems it permissible to present Black women as sexual objects and disposable property. This is the same industry that awarded Halle Berry for begging to be sexually ravaged by the white man that executed her Black husband. (I elaborated on this over at Charcoal Ink)
[NOTE: Before the sisters start sharpening their knives and pitchforks, I would have the same comments if the NBC special switched the genders and featured Black men who prefer women outside of their race. Furthermore, while I recognize each individuals right to date and/or marry anyone that they choose to, my chief concern with this feature is the multiplicative adverse affect upon the Afrikan psyche and worldview which provides further support for the illusion of European superiority and by extension Afrikan inferiority.]
While the sisters featured in the NBC special may have just wanted to tell their story and get their 15 seconds of fame, they should have thought about the political ramifications of sharing such sensitive information on Nuttin’ Broadcasting But Caucasians (NBC) - as Dr. Julia Hare calls them. It would be like me going on KKK Radio to talk about the over-representation of men of color in America’s prison industrial complex. No matter how careful I would be to communicate the truths surrounding the issue, those who own the station and host the show would aggressively work to frame the discussion in a way that suggests the innate criminality of men of color.
Secondly, I think the presentation hints at the reality of self-hate in some of the participants. In the Girl Talk clip that I’ve linked above, Nikki Doughty, who works at an interracial dating service and who founded a group for Black women who date interracially, says the following about why she decided to date outside of her race:
“I kinda wanted to do my own friendster, my own myspace and do a page for my own dating interest. And I wanted to find other women who were like me you know there’s a huge world out there and there’s all sorts of men who are attractive, handsome, with a job, ya know, great schooling, GOOD HAIR [emphasis mine], you know all of those wonderful things and I’m free to date all of them.”
The fact that Nikki grounds her interest in “all sorts of men” (except Black men of course) on the possession of a job and being privy to great schooling would seem to imply that no Black man in this country possesses either of them. Furthermore, her statement is extremely superficial giving no place at all to some of the reasons why some Black men don’t have jobs and how America’s school systems are failing our youth. (Whether people want to admit it or not - these issues are interrelated.)
And her “good hair” statement reveals the type of self-hatred that has been well documented in incredible works like Dr. Marimba Ani’s Yurugu: An Afrikan-Centered critique of European Cultural Thought & Behavior (pages 219-222), on blogs, in song, and even in documentaries like this insightful work by 17-year-old Kira Davis. When I watched the clip of Nikki Doughty I felt the spirit of my Great Ancestor Malcolm X rising up in me as I said outloud to the screen, “Nikki, who taught you to hate yourself?”
Bottom line - Afrikan people need to be more loyal to each other. As Clare over at the Ruminations of a Racial Realist blog puts it: Black men need to be more loyal to Black women and Black women need to be more loyal to Black men. Brothas - we should refrain from disrespecting Black women PERIOD. We should go out of our way to appreciate, support, love, defend and uphold the virtue of our Afrikan Queens. Remember a Black woman brought you in this world…in fact Afrikan women brought all of humanity in this world! Let our commitment to Black women be not just in word - but in deed. Sistas - you should go out of your way to love, support, and defend Black men. Do you know what it does to the psyche of a Black man when you talk down to him or disrespect him? Black Manhood is questioned every day we wake up and try to provide for our families and ourselves in this white supremacist culture. The supportive words/actions by a Black woman - especially and primarily by my wife - gives me the strength and fuel that I need to challenge the white power structure to its face and be the man that The Almighty created me to be for me, for her, and for my people.
“I do not claim to know all the answers but one thing is absolutely clear: our long term survival as people of African descent will depend on our ability to reject white supremacist ideals, build bridges between black men and women, and ultimately unite as black people.”
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:55 am
Thanks for writing on truths that dare not speak their names-at least often. I do not mind seeing an occasional racial couple here nor there. But I would not like it to become the norm either; and it ain’t because I believe black is superior to white-no. (I do think black is of value and beautiful though.) If too many of us did this, we as a group could near breed ourselves out of existence. In places where heavy intermixture has taken place,-like Mexico and other parts of Central America and the Middle East- the descendants of these unions do not have much influence in important affairs, they are not treated equally, and they do not have much wealth. They have not gotten much out of full blown amalgamation nor assimilation.
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:06 am
Hey Brother Heber,
It’s been a long time since we talked; but I’ve been keeping up with your blog.
Firstly, let me applaud you on cutting through the clutter. I saw the same series, and thought the same things. I applaud NBC for even airing the series; I must at least do that despite their other flaws.
However, I’m going to be critical of your argument because you don’t take it far enough.
You are right; “Sistas - you should go out of your way to love, support, and defend Black men.”
And, “Let our commitment to Black women be not just in word - but in deed.”
BUT, if that’s all your going to say; then you are doing no more than the standard white power blog.
There is something else that African American people on a whole should do.
As I’m sure you’ve found out, I am European American (my skin is, anyways).
My wife is African American.
Just as you resent the implication that NBC indirectly made that you, as a black man, are either rare or do not have the capacity to be a good husband to your wife; I strongly resent the implication that because of my race, origin, or skin colour that I cannot be a good husband to mine, or be “the man she needs”.
You would be wiser to day that “Sistas - you should go out of your way to love, support, and defend men WHO LOVE, SUPPORT, AND DEFEND YOU.” Regardless of race.
The series made the mistake, as did you, that race is paramount as an indication of a one person’s compatibility with another. My wife didn’t marry me because she’s insecure about herself. I wouldn’t have bothered to propose if she was.
African Americans on a whole need support. They need self esteem (as you pointed out with the “good hair” remark), they need drive and determination to make changes in their communities, and they need others around around them who believe in them and wish to help them in any way they can; just as your wife does for you.
News flash, white people, (and many other races) can do that for African American people to.
And I’m not talking about the “white missionary woman who wants to help those poor black folks”. I’m talking about people who are on fire against racism, and actually want to do something about it. I’m talking about people who study African and African American literature and history and help analyze the strengths and commemorate the heroes. I’m talking about sociologists and lawyers who genuinely believe that our current system isn’t fair and are making steps to change it.
If you think I’m implying that African Americans can’t do it on their own; I say to you don’t put your own insecurities in my mouth.
“If you would know your history, then you would know where I’m coming from.”
Look up how many white people marched with King. Read up on the college students who took the police beatings along side people they consider friends. Research and find out how many white college professors actually agree with a lot of what Malcolm had to say.
If you can come back to me after that and STILL believe that a person from another race can’t love and support a black person (male or female) and encourage them to be all they can be, so be it.
But if anything I’ve said has changed your mind, perhaps you should revise some of your thinking and really help African Americans succeed and work to change the “adverse affect(s) upon the Afrikan psyche and worldview which provides further support for the illusion of European superiority and by extension Afrikan inferiority.”
“..it’s smarter to say you’re going to shoot a man for what his is doing to you than because he is white.†[Malcolm x speaks, 213]
~Benjamin Jancewicz
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:19 am
This is a subject that needs more discussion. Not just interracial relationships, but intraracial relationships as well. Heber, you are correct that black men and women should be more loyal to each other and more supportive of each other. But, too many of our relationships lack fundamental loyalty and mutual support. My problem with the black women and men that engage in romantic relationships and marriages with whites is that I believe that many are doing so based on a subconscious self and race hate. This reality is disturbing and painful on many levels when black women AND black men do it. It is a pain that black women have had to live with for a long time.
December 3rd, 2007 at 5:57 pm
I would like to say how glad I am for finding this site as I continue to wake up from a brainwashed state of being. I agree that it is essential to the future of the African people that the rift between the African man and woman is filled and bridged. There can be no gap between us if our collective goal is to break all the chains of white supremacy world-wide. You are right, the African man should go out of his way to respect, protect and provide for his African woman. That will go a long ways in bridging the gap forming between us. It is equally important that African women provide the support necessary for the African man to be that provider and protector of not only the African woman but of the African people as a whole.
With that being said I am not surprised that a white man would take these statements of ways to uplift the African people by the African people as an indirect implication that he is not a good husband to his African wife or ” not all the man she needs.”
Lol, this statement made by Benjamin Jancewicz, a semite ( I could be wrong here but i doubt it ) is a direct comparison made by a non-white person that has no clue of his true origin and is conducting and wants to be seen as white. As was stated before ” who taught you to hate yourself Ben ?”
If you were in fact a white man and made these same statements my reply would be that your statements of implied inadaquacy when compared in your own mind to an African man is a deep rooted inferiority complex stemming from fear and envy of the African male phallus ( penis ) and entire genital apparatus ( which you can read more about in the Isis Papers by Dr. Frances Cress Welsing ). This fear and envy, conscious or unconscious, comes from the reality of the genetic status of the white man when compared to the African man. That status of course being genetically recessive ( unable to produce melanin ) and subject to annihilation by the genetically supperior ( able to produce melanin ) African man.
Thus any rhetoric of African unity between man and woman is seen as a direct threat to the genetic survival of the white man. But Ben, you’re not white, man. So when we talk of support of one another by the African man and woman as being essential to our success… you’re included too. So don’t be offended. You don’t have to feel like its a shot at you. You are not inferior or inadequate.
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:55 pm
Antonio; thanks for the laugh!
And thanks for the historical background on the size of the African Phallus, as I’m sure it matters a great deal to you; but I myself have been told that I do not have the need to feel any envy in that area.
However, jokes aside. As you apparently misread, I was merely suggesting Brother Heber’s statements don’t quite go far enough. Being unreceptive to those who consider themselves your allies is as dangerous as it is foolhardy.
However, since you seem bent on splitting hairs; I’ll leave you to it.
Oh, and P.S., Jancewicz is a Polish last name.
December 4th, 2007 at 10:36 am
As the wife of a man who posted an ad for an exotic women to fool around with, I know personally the sad state of affairs between black men and women. It is very hard to look in the mirror and think of yourself as beautiful when the one you love thinks you’re just adequate.
December 4th, 2007 at 7:41 pm
All of us…. All of us… are from one blood. We are all sons and daughters of Adam. We are all the creation of God. When we get to heaven, there will be no RACE. We need to get together and live together and stop this whining about race all the time. Is racism real? Is it systematic? YES!!! However, we as black people can be just as racist and isolationist as the whites are. When are we, ESPECIALLY those of us who represent God, going to drop the devisive attitudes projected on us by Satan through history, media, etc.? What is the difference when two people love one another? To me it is more admirable to see the example being set that we should live together in harmony. All of this other nonsense (I call it) is keeping us in bondage that we try so desparately to escape.
December 5th, 2007 at 1:12 am
Ok - folks it took me about a week to organize my thoughts and get this article up so I definitely didn’t want to get on and start responding to comments right away. Thanks for giving me a sec to rest my fingertips.
ABW- Thanks for your comment. I agree. This post’s intent was not to say I am totally against all interracial relationships. While it’s not my preference, I have family members, co-workers, and friends who date or who have married someone outside of their race. As stated above: “my chief concern with this feature is the multiplicative adverse affect upon the Afrikan psyche and worldview which provides further support for the illusion of European superiority and by extension Afrikan inferiority.” I think I know who you are and I really enjoy your blog. Keep up the great work!
Ben - Thanks for your comment. I must say that my call for Afrikan Unity between Afrikan Brothers and Afrikan Sisters is just that….a call for our community to unify, rally around, and support each other. I’m not sure where you see an implication in my statements that you can’t be “the man that your wife needs you to be.” As you’ll notice throughout this post, I’m speaking in political and macro-level terms…not individual relationships. I’m speaking of the “multiplicative adverse affects” of a divisive message in the Afrikan community. I won’t begin nor am I interested in analyzing each and every interracial relationship…including yours. Your relationship with your wife is between you and your wife. I’m talking about what my COMMNUNITY (macro level) needs to do for itself and the mindframe we need to have in order to survive and thrive in this white supremacist culture. This call for UNITY is first for and about us - meaning the AFRIKAN COMMUNITY. I’m well aware of those outside of our community who have had the courage to bleed and die for social justice for Afrikan people, but let’s not pretend as if that is the norm…those individuals are exceptions -not the rule. For those White people who are “on fire against racism and want to do something about it”, I believe that their FIRST assignment is to turn around and challenge their own community. Concerned White people need to challenge the White Power Structure, expose the numbing poison of “white privilege”, and FOLLOW the lead of Afrikan people in dismantling institutionalized racism. Perhaps you’d be interested in the work of Tim Wise - a White man who has turned around to speak primarily to his own community about its sins and responsibility in the racial justice arena. http://www.timwise.org Finally, I would like to extend a friendly caution in case you happen to have these types of conversations with other Afrikan people. It can be perceived to be quite arrogant behavior when White people tell Black people how they should feel and what they should think about race and racism in America. I hope you enjoy and are inspired by Tim Wise’s work. There’s also a blog you may enjoy: http://www.whiteprivilege.com
Nicole - Thanks for your comment. I agree. There is much work to do within our community to rebuild mutual respect and loyalty. Hopefully, this post in some small way sparks meaningful dialogue. In an effort to actualize the advice that I gave to Brothers above - let me say that I truly appreciate you and have the utmost respect for you as an amazing Afrikan Queen. I support you. I respect you. I’ll defend you and I have great “brotherly” love for you.
Antonio - Thanks for your comment and I appreciate you visiting my blog. My process of “awakening” began in seminary and was accelerated when my class took a trip to study Afrikan Traditional Religions in Ghana, West Afrika. There - my “eyes” really “opened” and I’ve not been the same since. I pray that Almighty God continues to order both of our steps on this great and mighty walk. I see that you’ve read the great work of Dr. Frances Cress Welsing. What other books are you using to awaken from your brainwashed state?
Anonymous - Thank you for your comment. I’m saddened to hear of the complications in your marriage. I hope that the love that brought you two together will help keep you two together even during this time. Know that you have a Brother in Bmore who respects you, supports you, and is praying for you and your family.
Ray - Thank you for your comment. I agree that the afterlife will eliminate racial divisions altogether, however, as I’m sure you’ve figured out by now, I have different views about what should be done about systematic/institutional racism. I’m not willing to wait until I get to heaven to experience social justice. God’s Will should be done on earth as it is in heaven. Just as God burdened Habakkuk, Malachi, and others with a prophetic and unsettling charge, I feel that God has done likewise with me. The call that God has placed on my life is one that propels me to challenge everything that attempts to thwart social justice on earth (Amos 5: 21-24) and right now from my vantage point, institutional racism (a.k.a. white supremacy) is the goliath that dares would-be davids to battle. I can’t speak for others, but my views and activity in the arena of battling institutional racism is not intended to be divisive, however, it is to challenge this country to engage an issue that it has long been purposely avoiding. If Dr. W.E.B. DuBois can, in 1903 mind you, identify racial injustice/unrest as the problem of the 20th Century, then we surely need to tackle it today as well. That is, unless we’re ready to concede that the issue has been resolved. I’m not ready to concede that yet and I don’t believe that this issue is going to just go away on its own. Just as a quick note…based on the definitions of these loaded terms like race, racism, white privilege, etc., Black people are unable to be “racist” as they do not have the power to enforce their prejudices. Put simply, Racism = Prejudice + Power. For more definitions visit: http://www.antiracistworkshop.org/define/def.html Dr. Frances Cress Welsing further expounds upon these definitions in her book, The Isis Papers as well.
Again - THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS!! Meaningful engagement is necessary and to me - a great joy. Thank you for visiting my blog and I look forward to more of your comments as you are led.
December 5th, 2007 at 8:38 am
In the first clip, Love in Black and White, it is so obvious that the sister who placed an ad looking for a white man and married him, truly hates herself or black men. For her to say that only white men approach her is insane. She was nice looking so I know for a fact that the brothers put their bid in. I don’t know the lady but i’m wondering what kind of vibe was she giving to the brothers that would make them not holler at her. A lot of sisters who have got it together, once they have made it, look for any reason to justify the constant attack on Black men. Think about it. For some it is very easy to join or support the side that is in power. An unholy alliance is taking place right before our very eyes. One of the best operatives against the black male is not only racism, class struggle and lack of knowledge, but also the skillfully veiled cult of Sisterhood which promotes in the end the separation of the black man from the black women. If we are going to tell the truth then let’s tell it.
December 5th, 2007 at 11:23 am
Moses married who?
As I read this article, I kept hearing the words of Jeremiah, found in the first chapter of the book of Jeremiah, saing, “…Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew you…I ordained you…”.
Our foci should be on God’s pre-determined plan(s) for our lives. Whether, ethiopian, caucasian, black, pilipino or otherwise, what really matters in the final analysis is whether the person that we marry is the one that God has chosen for us (before the foundation of the world) in order for us to fulfill our destinies!
With respect to any member of the human genome, if we discriminate against other individuals or prejudge them, we have issues1 Remember Peter: he didn’t touch unclean things. And remember Jeremiah, he felt that the skin color of the Ethiopian was apparently problematic in that it was unchangeable.
God spoke to the Rev one day and said the following: Our theme - ought to be - to pursue different passions - for different people!
None of us should be Miriam’s or Aaron’s with regard to who our sistah’s or brotha’s date or get married to. The bigger issue is whether their relationships are in keeping with the divine will!
December 5th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
Man this is even better than I thought, you respond to comments too. lol. I am an admirer and I have the utmost love and respect for someone like yourself that displays this kind of love for his brothers and sisters. The definiton of a role model my man. I was going to respond to benjamins latest comments but no need, you reiterated my point exactly. No where did you say anything about anyone else other than us. That is definately a problem for them. When we speak of us getting stronger together, they tremble and it is seen by them as a direct shot at their very existence. Thats how I feel at least. I mean these are things I think that it is just impossible to hide for them when these issues surface. Case in point, I know you have read Dr. Welsings book. I said that the white man has a conscious or unconscious fear and envious complex with the Black man’s Penis. That fear stemming from his inability to produce melanin and ability to be anihilated by the Black man’s ability to produce melanin. And what repsonse do I see, ” thanks for the historical background on the size of the African Phallus, as I’m sure it matters a great deal to you; but I myself have been told that I do not have the need to feel any envy in that area.” Where did I mention anything on the size of a penis? Where did you mention anything about him not being ” the man his wife needs” ? As you can probably see Mr. Brown I am a little younger and still have much to learn as I have begun to speak on something that I just said I wouldn’t. Sometimes I just get really angry about certain things. As for my books, my collection is kind of small. I have The Mis-Education of the Negro by Carter G. Woodson, Chains and Images of Psychological Slavery by Dr. Na’im Akbar, I Speak of Freedom by Kwame Nkrumah, Nigger by Dick Gregory, A People’s History of the united states by Howard Zinn, and my fav The Isis Papers by Dr. Frances Cress Welsing. I know that there is so much I should get, do you have any suggestions, must haves that I should know about?
December 5th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
The books that you have listed are all great. Mis-Education was one of firsts in my library and Zinn’s book on A People’s History is one of the newer additions to my shelf.
You’ve inspired me to write an entry about the books that have helped (and are still helping) me break the chains of psychological slavery. I’ll try to post the beginnings of a list in the morning. Perhaps we can make this a group project for those on the ‘net that are conscious as well.
December 5th, 2007 at 11:47 pm
Yo man this is crazy, you are definately the dude. I just wrote this man. And you responded already. I think that is a good idea, I know now that im finding out about all of these books I wish that I would’ve been able to have someone tell me a list of essential reading material. I know there is so much to find out to become conscious. You should definately do this, it would be a great benefit to younger people like myself.
December 7th, 2007 at 9:58 pm
Rev. Solomon,I believe you have misread Jeremiah when he said “Can the Ethiopian change the color of his skin?” It had nothing to do with Jeremiah believing the Ethiopian’s skin was problematic. He was making a point that somethings will never change.Of course a person who is born Black cannot change his skin. What is wrong with that? There is nothing wrong with that statement, if you do not believe that the color Black is bad and you want to change it.
And furthermore, even if you marry someone of another race and have children, theyare part of you, but certainly not you. Your color still remains the same. Jeremiah was an individual from his age and he made a simple explanation to refer to certain things that are unchangeable.He went on to say:” Can a leopard change its spots?” .Are you going to say that Jeremiah had a problem with leopards?. Hey please do not put in your insecurities in the Bible. You are so busy trying to push racial mingling that you have botched it.
Hey ultimately, most people as awhole usually fall in love with their own group. And it has nothing to do with racism, and it is not against God. God has ordained differences. The Creator is the father of diversity. He is not interested in seeing any particular people becoming extict. Most of the distinct people on the earth today will remain to until God disposes.
God is Great.
December 12th, 2007 at 5:17 am
Aleyda, pray for the Native Americans.
February 5th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
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